There is apparently a big difference between being mentally able and ready to talk about trauma and emotionally being able to do it. I was raring to go and it got the better of me. I had hoped I was far enough away from the blast zone by now – I think I am moving towards that but am not completely there yet.
I am back though – from my self-imposed hiatus.
It is awkward at 30 to be going through a self-identity phase but with kids, illness and fires, I missed doing it in my twenties. I was trying to survive instead of ‘find myself’ and now, I am trying to learn who I am. Seems like an odd thing for a mother of two who is a few years into her own business and pretty settled in location and finances… but it is true. It feels like a part of me is paused back when I was 24 and is just waiting for me to hit the play button so I restart that life that change out from under me. I ~know~ that I can’t go back to that person because she no longer exists but I wish I could, some days.
This blog is going to serve as all aspects of my identity. My past – which shaped me… My present – which moves me… My future – which gives me hope.
*applause* Yay! I hope it’s useful.